I always told myself that I would never be that girl to forget about her friends when she has a boyfriend.

Actions speak louder than words.

Like many of us, I had to learn how to deal with friends who slowly grew up out of my life because they didn’t know how to spend time with their boyfriend and their friends. It’s hard for some people to realize that they are pushing away the people who have been there for them the longest. And it’s usually unintentional, but unfortunately, that’s life.

I was always on the side of the relationship where I had to learn how to deal with the fact that friendships change when a romantic relationship starts. Going from spending everyday with your best friend to seeing each other once every couple of weeks is hard to bear. It takes time to get used to and to accept that there’s not much you can do about it.

Photo courtesy of Emily Kim

You’re in a relationship with friends for all of your life. They are the people who guide you, the ones you can cry on and do all sorts of stupid shenanigans with. So yes, it takes a huge toll in your life when that relationship vanishes out of nowhere.

Don’t get me wrong; being in a romantic relationship with the person you love can bring more happiness to some people than anything else. I can spend 24 hours, seven days a week with my boyfriend and never get tired of being with him. I could easily spend that much time with him and nobody else if I wanted to. But I know that I can’t. As much as I love him, I love my friends too. Spending time with your friends and with your significant other has its different perks. But no matter what, they are the people who fill my life with happiness and love.

But I know that things have changed. I know that I spend more time with my boyfriend than I do with my friends. But the thing is, I know that and I know where I stand with the friendships I have other than my boyfriend. And because of that realization, I make time for my friends. I make sure that I see them and show them that they are still the people I could never lose. Actions speak louder than words. Don’t just tell your friends you miss them over a text message; catch up by grabbing some lunch. Anything to spend time with them will be noticed and appreciated. I know it may not always be an option, but try to do things that include your friends and your boyfriend/girlfriend. It makes me the happiest when I see my friends and my boyfriend all hanging out together. That’s the best of both worlds.

So when people say it’s important to have time management, it doesn’t always apply to work. Time management involves relationships as well.

Having friends and a boyfriend/girlfriend is like having the best of both worlds. But know when one side is falling apart, because both are essential for the heart.

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