St. Patrick’s day is by far, the best day of the year. And the best way to spend it is in New York City. Bagpipers, marching bands, Irish step dancing corned beef and booze create a perfect atmosphere for partying and shenanigans; and you can find all of that and more in The Big Apple.

New York City’s first Saint Patrick’s Day parade took place in 1762 and has taken place every year since. The parade begin at 11:30 a.m. on 44th street and ends uptown on 79th street.

Always lead by “The Fighting 69th,” a military regiment, the parade features people from around the world. The firefighters, police and EMTs from New York and around the world march as well as marching bands from around the country, church groups, schools, dancers, Irish heritage groups, military and airforce personnel and many more.

The parade itself ends at 5 p.m., but the party in New York City doesn’t end until much later. Here’s a timeline of my latest Saint Patrick’s day in New York City.

 

10a.m.: Board Train

I went into the city from my hometown on Long Island with my mom, sister, brother and a few of my mom’s friends. On the platform awaited fifty or so people in bright green T-shirts and accessories, not at all dressed for the chilly weather.

 

11a.m.: Arrive in Penn Station

Arriving in midtown Manhattan was chaotic to say the least. A Saturday parade means double the drunk people.

 

11:15 a.m.: Take Q train to 72nd Street

Waiting to get on the train was less hectic than in Penn Station.

 

11:30 a.m.: Arrive at 72nd and 5th

Uptown is far less chaotic  than the disarray that is midtown on Saint Patrick’s Day. 5th Avenue was still lined with people on both sides watching parade. We got a nice spot on the north side of the street in the sun to watch.

 

11:35 a.m.: Spotted dog dressed like a leprechaun

A giant german shepherd had green shoes and a hat on.

 

11:40-12:45 p.m.: Watched parade

I sipped on Bailey’s and tea while watching the parade with my mom.

 

1p.m.: Met up with dad

My dad is a New York City Firefighter. This was his last year marching with the F.D.N.Y. (New York City Fire Department) as an active-duty firefighter. He was very happy and decided to leave the parade route, along with his friends.

 

1:45 p.m.: Headed to party

My family and I went to the F.D.N.Y. “Pipe and Drum” party where the fire departments own Irish band was playing. There we met with my cousins and headed in for free Budweiser, Guinness and Bud Light’s; all served out of a garbage can filled with ice.

 

2:30 p.m.: Left to go to the convenience store

After two Bud Light’s it occured to me that I didn’t like any of the beer they were serving, so I left to walk to a bodega and find a Twisted Tea to drink with my mom and sister. Apparently, no convenience stores in Manhattan carry Twisted Tea. I went to three bodegas and a CVS before I gave up and went to a liquor store for a bottle of $8 Pinot Grigio to split.

 

3p.m.: Return to party

I got back to the party to find they were serving food. Corned beef, cabbage, and for some reason, hot dogs. I nearly ate my weight in corned beef.

 

3:30 p.m.: Head back to midtown

A friend called me and told me she was at Connolly’s Pub on 45th street. I got an uber and it took me almost 45 minutes to go back to midtown because the police were beginning to close off the streets to the parade route.

 

4:20 p.m. Arrive at bar

I got to the bar and got on line to have my I.D. checked. While I was waiting, I overheard the girl in front of me (who looked very much underage) on the phone, “Just walk toward all the people!” Suddenly, about 10 drunk teenagers arrived and cut me online.

As I was approaching the door, I remembered I had an unopened Bud Light in my pocket. I handed it to the bouncer so he could throw it away and one of the boys who cut me predictibally said, “bro, let me shotgun that.” As soon as he said it another bouncer appeared and demanded the whole groups I.D.’s.

“You all think you’re gonna get in here with these sh**** fake I.D.s? Go home, it’s past your curfew,” The bouncer said.

The same bouncer hardly looked at my license and let me in, karma is real.

 

5:00 p.m.: Locate Friends

Connolly’s is a four story bar crowded to the brim with people. While trying to find my friends, I witnessed two fights and a girl being dragged out by two large bouncers. I finally found my group when my friends very drunk boyfriend bumped into me and said “HEYYY I FOUND HER.”

 

5:15 p.m.: First Drink at bar

This is where the night took a turn for the better and the  worse. I got my first of many $12 rum & cokes.

 

6 p.m.: Friend gets thrown out

My friend’s boyfriends brother, Max, drank way too much and was thrown out. We expected him to simply go outside, drink some water and come back in, which he did.

 

6:05 p.m.: Nearly get into fight

Immediately after Max had been thrown out, these boys began yelling at my friend’s boyfriend. My friend and I stayed calm and kept telling them we didn’t want any trouble, to which they replied: “these bi***** keep running their mouths, they better shut the f*** up.” That was the last straw for my friend and me. We told the bouncer they were bothering us and smiled and waved as they were dragged out of the bar.

 

7 p.m.: Get food

My friends and I were starving so we decided to get some food. We went downstairs and ordered more corned beef and fried calamari, an odd combination but delicious when you’re hungry and drunk.

 

8 p.m.: Accidentally made some girl cry over a jacket

When my friend first arrived at the bar, she found a jacket and put it on because she was cold. The owner of the jacket then found us and asked for it back. When my friend tried to explain that she found it and the girl burst into tears. We gave her her jacket back and she went on her way, still crying.

 

9 p.m.: Return to Penn

We were all exhausted so we decided to head home. My friends went back to Glendale, Queens, to spend the night but I had to take the train all the way home because I had to be up the next morning.

 

9:15 p.m.: Some lady trips me

While walking on the platform toward my train, a woman next to me decided to do a 180 and completely tripped me. I fell on my face in front of all of New York City. Luckily, a nice man helped me up and I proceeded onto the train

 

10:30 p.m.: Arrive home

I got home, drank a gallon of water, took a shower and got into bed.

 

Other than the giant bruise that currently resides on my right knee and the tremendous blow to my bank account, Saint Patrick’s day was a lot of fun.

 

Screen Shot 2018-03-28 at 3.45.01 PM
Tess pictured with a friend on St. Patty’s Day.

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